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Limericks Erotic

Roger went walking and needed to pee,
So he ducked behind a very big tree.
He sprayed on a bee
So it stung the source of his progeny.

Fair Jane was nearby and she heard his squeal,
So she ran over to see the big deal,
Now though Jane was genteel,
What she saw did appeal -
Roger was writhing with a great eel of steel.

She pulled down her drawers and then got astride,
Took his stiff poker and slid it inside,
Then started to ride,
And sighed as she plied,
Until she climaxed and moaned like a bride.

As Roger kept writhing slowly in Jane
She said, "You were almost going insane,
If you need to obtain,
More relief from your pain,
We'll have to do that again and again!"

A sheila from past the Black Stump,
Was known for her beautiful rump.
Well-sinkers who saw her,
All wanted to bore her,
And show how good they could pump.
            An attractive seismologist who,
When bonking her lover saw her new
Seismograph go wild,
Said sweetly and smiled,
"Tell me dear, did the earth move for you?"

A movie producer said to Charlotte,
If you'd like me to make you a starlet,
First dispose of your clothes
And show me how you'd pose
And perform in the role of a harlot.

Letters used to come air-mail and sea-mail
And now they're so much faster by email;
But there's no denying
Its more satisfying
To take your time and come in a female.

Between Nurse Fanny and young Dr. Percy
It was lust - so to avoid controversy
Percy had Nursey
And then vice-versy
On the night shift at Our Lady of Mercy.

The fair sex have so much appeal,
Especially when caught deshabille,
When I steal a feel
Where they rarely reveal,
I love to hear them let out a squeal.